How to Support a Friend After Pet Loss
What to say, what not to say, and how to show you care.
When my friend's cat died, I didn't know what to say. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing, so I said almost nothing. I regret that. Here's what I've learned about showing up for someone in pet grief.
What to say
**Simple acknowledgment:** 'I'm so sorry about [pet's name]. I know how much they meant to you.'
**Validation:** 'It's okay to be devastated. They were family.'
**Specific memories:** 'I loved how [pet's name] always [specific behavior]. They were such a character.'
**Offer presence:** 'I'm here if you want to talk—or if you just want company.'
You don't need the perfect words. Showing that you recognize their loss matters more than eloquence.
What NOT to say
**'It was just a pet.'** Nothing minimizes grief faster.
**'At least they lived a long life.'** Longevity doesn't erase loss.
**'You can get another one.'** This implies pets are replaceable.
**'They're in a better place.'** Unless you know their beliefs, this can feel dismissive.
**'I know how you feel.'** Even if you've lost a pet, their grief is theirs.
**'It's been a while, you should be over it.'** Grief has no timeline.
Practical ways to help
Follow up later
Most support comes in the first few days, then disappears. Check in a week later. A month later. On the anniversary.
A text that says 'thinking about you and [pet's name] today' means more than you know.
If they had to euthanize
Be especially gentle about guilt. They may be second-guessing themselves. Reassure them: 'You made the most loving decision you could.'