Making the Euthanasia Decision
The hardest decision—and how to know when it's time.
I kept asking the vet, 'Is it time?' and she kept saying, 'You'll know.' I wanted someone to tell me what to do, to take the decision out of my hands. But that's not how it works. Here's what I wish someone had told me.
There's no perfect moment
I spent weeks looking for a clear sign—a dramatic decline, my cat telling me somehow. Instead, it was gradual. A bad day, then a good day, then two bad days. The clarity I wanted never came.
Most people experience this ambiguity. If you're waiting for certainty, you might wait too long.
Questions that actually help
Instead of 'Is it time?', try asking:
**Is my pet having more bad days than good?** Track it if you need to. When bad days consistently outnumber good ones, it's usually time.
**Can my pet still do the things they love?** A dog who can't walk to their food bowl. A cat who can't reach the sunny window. When the activities that defined their happiness are gone, quality of life has diminished.
**Is my pet eating and drinking?** Loss of appetite is often significant. Refusing water is more urgent.
**Is my pet in pain that can't be managed?** Some pain can be controlled with medication. Some can't. Your vet can help assess this.
**Am I keeping my pet alive for them, or for me?** This is hard to answer honestly. But it matters.
The quality of life scale
Many vets use a quality of life assessment. It scores things like:
A total score below 35 (out of 70) often suggests quality of life is poor. Ask your vet about using this tool.
Common fears that hold people back
**'What if I do it too soon?'** This is almost always a bigger fear than doing it too late. The truth is: a day early is usually kinder than a day late. Your pet's last day should be a good day, not a day of suffering.
**'What if I'm wrong about the diagnosis?'** If you have doubts, get a second opinion. But trust the consensus of veterinary professionals.
**'I can't be the one to decide this.'** I know. But your pet trusts you, and this is part of the responsibility we accept when we love them.