The Anniversary Effect and Sudden Waves of Grief

You can be doing "fine" for weeks and then—out of nowhere—see a dog that looks like them, hear a collar jingle in a movie, or get hit with a "memory" notification. Suddenly you're crying in the grocery store parking lot.

That doesn't mean you're back to square one.

What's happening

Grief isn't a straight line. It's more like a spiral: you come back around to the pain, but you're not in the same place you were before. The body also keeps track of dates and seasons—sometimes you feel unsettled before you even realize it's the month they died. That's the "anniversary effect," and it's very common.

When you get ambushed

A small plan that helps

Look at the calendar and mark the one-year date. Decide now what you'll do—even if it's just "take the day off and go for a long walk." Planning turns an ambush into something you can brace for.